Points of Departure
"And as far as I am concerned the transports can wait until the sun explodes. And if your not happy with the seating arrangements, I will personally order your seats to be moved outside, down the hall, across the station and into the fusion reactor. Am I absolutely perfectly clear on this?"
Ivanova

"What's our status?"
"Chief of security is in critical condition in medlab. He thinks there's a conspiracy concerning the president's death. Ambassador G'Kar has mysteriously vanished. After two years we still don't know what Ambassador Kosh looks like inside his encounter suit and Ambassador Delenn is in a cocoon."
"A cocoon? As in a moth or a butterfly?"
"Yes, sir. About yea high."
"Interesting place you have here."
Sheridan and Ivanova

"I'll say a prayer for him tonight."
'He's agnostic.'
"Then I'll say half a prayer."
Ivanova and Franklin about Garibaldi

Revelations
"There you see: one deserts his post without any explanation, the other one picks the most breathtakingly inconvenient moment possible to explore new career options, like becoming a butterfly!"
Londo about G'Kar and Delenn

The Geometry of Shadows
"You can start by helping me understand the precise nature of conflict between the two sides that you've set up."
"Green."
"Purple."
"No, I understand that there are two factions, but what is your point of contention? Where do you disagree with each other?"
"Purple."
"Green."
Ivanova and two Drazis discuss a drazi ritual

"Green must fight purple, purple must fight green. Is no other way."
"Just my luck, I get stuck with a race that speaks only in macros."
A Drazi and Ivanova

A Distant Star
"10 pounds?"
"Well, a 10-pound gain isn't too bad, but you could afford to lose it. Here's a list of foods I want you to avoid. No meat, low fat. Lots of vegetables."
"Rabbit food."
"Well, it's only for a little while, Captain. We'll get those 10 pounds off in no time."
"Who's 'we'?"
"Well, a doctor and his patient are a team, Captain, don't you agree?"
"Sure. And since we're a team, why don't you do the diet part."
Sheridan and Franklin

"I'll gain weight!"
"Well, briefly, yes."
"Figures. All my life I've fought against imperialism. Now, suddenly I am the expanding Russian frontier."
"But with very nice borders."
Ivanova and Franklin about Ivanova's diet

"And I tell you one thing. If the primates that we came from, had know that someday politicians would come out of the gene pool, they would have stayed up in the trees and written evolution of as a bad idea."
Sheridan

Spider in the Web
"Well, you know how I feel about telepaths."
"Do I ever. You threw one out of a third story window on Io."
"There was an ample pool below the window."
"I'll assume you knew that."
Ivanova and Sheridan

Soul Mates
"What's he hiding, Vir? Tell me. I won't bite, Vir."
"With all due respect, Madame, that's not what I've heard."
"All right, that one time."
"Twice."
Timov and Vir

"Commander, I want you to understand. I acquired human characteristics to bring your people and mine closer together. To symbolise our mutuality. It is supposed to be a dignified and inspiring position for both Humans and Minbari. So, will you please explain to me why this... this..."
"Hair."
"... refuses to co-operate!"
Delenn and Ivanova

"Your problem Timov, is that you've never known your place."
"My place? You once threatened to break a vase over his head."
"Well now, that was the impetuousness of youth."
"That was last month."
Daggair and Timov about their husband Londo

"Petulant, isn't she? Oh well, breeding will tell."
"A bitch like you would know about breeding."
Daggair and Timov about Mariel

"And you are?"
"Garibaldi, head of security."
"Oh, so if I'm feeling insecure, hugging you will make me feel better."
Matt Stoner and Garibaldi

"Hey, how about I call you an idiot in public and you can convict me for revealing state secrets."
Matt Stoner to Garibaldi

"Are you okay? Londo, do you know where you are?"
"Either in Medlab, or in Hell. Either way, the decor needs work."
Franklin and Londo

"I warn you, Mariel, do not be overconfident. If I were married to Londo Mollari I'd be concerned."
"G'kar, if you were married to Londo Mollari, we'd all be concerned."
G'Kar and Mariel

A Race Through Dark Places
"They must be getting desperate to try something like this. They know we're on to them. Why else would they try to kill me?"
"Is this a multiple choice question?"
Bester and Ivanova

"I heard a good one today. How many Minbari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"I don't know, sir. How many Minbari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"None. They always surrender right before they finish the job and they never tell you why."
Sheridan and Ivanova

"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm not saying what I'm saying. I'm not saying what I'm thinking. As a matter of fact, I'm not thinking what I'm thinking. There's only one thing in my mind right now."
"What's that?"
"I need a drink."
Franklin and Sheridan

"Item two: you snore."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Captain, either you snore or last night we had a hell of a breach in the hull."
Ivanova and Sheridan after having spent a night in Sheridan's office in order to protest the rent on their quarters

The Coming of Shadows
"So, you are going to allow this, even over my objections?"
"What? Did I somehow turn invisible or something? Yes, Ambassador, the Emperor is allowed to come aboard. Now, if this bothers you, I suggest you stay in your quarters, stick your fingers in your ears and hum real loud until its over. Unless you'd like to try something as breathtakingly rational as trying to open up a dialogue. G'Kar, you are in a position to negotiate directly with the head of the Centauri Republic, and you are wasting it on a... tantrum."
G'Kar and Sheridan about the visit of the Centauri emperor Turhan

"I was ready. I had prepared myself. I had made my peace with the universe, put all my affairs in order. I had the dagger in my hand! And he has the indecency to start dying on his own. Never in my life have I seen a worse case of timing. Well, you'd think he could've waited a few more minutes before... [door chimes] Who is it?"
"Dr. Franklin."
"Maybe it's good news. With luck he's feeling better... All they have to do is prop him up for two minutes and..."
G'Kar and Franklin about the Centauri emperor

Acts of Sacrifice
"Six months ago they were hardly aware of me. Now, suddenly everyone is my friend, everyone wants something. I wanted respect. Instead I've turned to a wishing-well with legs."
Londo to Vir

Hunter, Prey
"I want to know why I was not told about the internal scanners before and how long it will take to interface it with our system now that I do know."
"A) you didn't ask, B) we dont' know the systems are compatible, C) assuming they are, 2.3 hours, D) at an early age someone should have told you you'd attract a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar, Sir."
Kransten and Ivanova

There All the Honor Lies
"'Welcome to Babylon 5, the last best hope for a quick buck.'"
Ivanova about the station's new souvenir shop

"I don't appreciate being called ignorant in front of others."
"I'm sorry. Is naive better?"
"And I don't need a lawyer."
"Now we're back to ignorant."
Sheridan and his defence attorney Guinevere Corey

"I'll never forget what you once said to me: 'Never fear answers, only fear running out of questions.'"
"Ivanova, I never said that."
"You didn't?"
"No."
"Oh, well, I'll let you know who did."
Ivanova and Sheridan

"It's a mockery. It doesn't even have any... ahem... attributes."
"Attributes?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"
Londo and Sheridan discuss the anatomy of a Centauri doll

In the Shadow of Z'Ha'Dum
"What do you want?"
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I'd look up at your lifeless eyes and wave like this. Can you and your associates arrange it for me, Mr. Morden?"
Morden and Vir

"Nice shoes. I'll admit my knowledge of the law is somewhat limited, but... I believe it's tradition if you're going to hold someone, you should at least... charge him... with something."
Morden to Sheridan

Knives
"You know, Vir, you have what the Earthers call a 'negative personality'."
"No I don't."
"There, you see?"
Londo and Vir

"Commander, everything in order?"
"Remarkably so. It is beginning to worry me."
"Do you always worry when things are going well?"
"I don't have time to worry about them when they are not."
Sheridan and Ivanova

Confessions and Lamentations
"What?"
"You were... sleeping."
"No, no, I was not. I... I was meditating."
"The sound you were making is part of human meditation?"
"I don't snore."
Sheridan, Delenn and Lennier when Sheridan falls asleep during a ritualistic meal

Divided loyalties
"I have been nothing but compassionate and understanding. I mean, all you had to do was to admit you were wrong and I was right and everything would've been fine."
Ivanova to Talia

"Why is it that every time things calm down and everything's going great life decides to kick you in the butt?"
"But what?"
"What?"
"You said that life decides to kick you, but..."
"No, no... it's a... it's a part of the body.. it's a... oh, you have the damnest gaps in your vocabulary."
"When preparing to come here I wasn't taught the more... colourful aspects of your language."
"Well, you're missing a lot."
"So I gather. Butt. I Butt, you butt, he or she butts."
"No..."
"Butt, butt, butt, butt..."
"You sound like a motorboat."
"A motor butt? I do not think I like the sound of that."
Sheridan and Delenn once again caught in a philosophical discussion

The Long, Twilight Struggle
"Sure you know where you're going?"
"Of course. I have an excellent memory."
"Positive?"
"Abso-fragging-lutely-dammit. Since our last discussion I have been studying your use of language. Do you approve?"
"Well, we'll talk about that later. Left or right?"
"Left... I believe."
Sheridan and Delenn in the caves on Epsilon 3

Comes the Inquisitor
"Mr. Garibaldi. I have been on this station long enough to know that you don't ask leading questions unless you already know the answers. So, why don't we just pretend I've lied about it, you've caught me in your web of insufferable logic and cut to the point."
G'Kar to Garibaldi

The Fall of Night
"I apologize. I'm... sorry. I'm sorry we had to defend ourselves against an unwarranted attack. I'm sorry that your crew was stupid enough to fire on a station filled with a quarter million civilians, including your own people. And I'm sorry I waited as long as I did before I blew them all straight to hell... As with everything else... it's the thought that counts."
Sheridan practices his apology to the Centauri government after destroying one of their ships

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